Saturday, January 7, 2012

Healing

Well, I'm on day 9 of my recovery.  It is going ok, but not at all like I thought it would.  Part of that has to do with the amount of reconstructive stitching the doctors had to do on my abdominal muscles.  Usually they do 2 rows of stitching.  I, being the awesome surgery candidate that I happen to be, got 4.  That's hundreds of stitches and some deep tissue staples.  My muscles are SORE!  I cannot explain it any other way than to say that I feel like I have ran 6 marathons all at once.  SORE!

So - I was talking to Nathan and realized that having 2 surgeries within 4 months kind of blows.  I was barely healed from the last major surgery, and here I am again.  But, at least the Lord has blessed me with patience and the amazing ability to heal faster than doctors expect me to.  I still have my drains in, but the incision doesn't hurt anymore.  On Monday, I get the drains out, and then it will just be muscle soreness after that!  Yippeeeeeee.

Nathan left today for 2 months.  This is the last time he will have to leave for his clerkships, and I am quite glad about that.  Luckily, I have awesome friends who are helping me whenever I need them.  Truly, I am blessed with amazing friends!  Tomorrow the kids and I are going to attempt to attend church.  I feel like a slacker not going but luckily I don't have Sharing Time until March so I have plenty of time to heal before I have to do much talking and moving around with the kiddos!  But, I seriously miss my primary kids and it's only been 2 weeks (well, I guess I did see them on Christmas, but didn't get to talk to many of them).

Anyways, so this was really to make a point for myself to remember.  I had surgery 9 days ago.  I'm still in pain, I have 3 kids to take care of (one that is merely 4 months old).  I can't pick up the kids, I can't stand up straight, I can't even reach into the top cupboards to get a bowl.  I was quite discouraged when Nathan packed up the car.  But, then we knelt in prayer and Nathan asked that his family, particularly me, would be ok.  We all had a few tears when he drove away, but then I said to myself, "I can do this."  I had a prayer in my heart and gathered the kids around my knees, hugged Natalie (who was having the hardest time saying bye to Daddy) and told them that Mommy was ok now.  I told them I still can't lift things or carry them, but that I was going to be ok, and we were going to make it without our Daddy.  And my mind completely changed from discouragement to encouragement.  Today I have cleaned my own kitchen, even doing dishes (using a stool to reach that cupboard).  I cleaned the living room, prepared a primary poster, gave my children their baths, got them ready for bed, played a game with them, and put them to bed with a story and a prayer. 

Today I learned that sometimes the difference between being able to do something and not is as simple as changing your attitude and throwing all your faith to the Lord.  Because you know what?  Pain and all - I did it!  8 weeks to go . . .